Give up the Good

Let me preface this with a statement acknowledging that I get very annoyed in traffic and that I promise not all my posts will be gripes about driving. There’s a moral to this story, so stick with me.

With that said, anyone who knows me might say that I’m an aggressive driver. Road rage is not a foreign feeling for me. Though my dear husband might disagree, I think that I’ve gotten a better handle on it lately. Not perfectly, but at least slightly better than a year ago. (I’m moving in the right direction at any rate, yes?)

Despite my aggressiveness, I generally consider myself not only a good driver but also a relatively considerate driver. I use my blinker (before I start turning, what a concept), I’ll wave other drivers to pull ahead of me, and I stop at red lights. These are the bare minimum of courtesies, I know, but there are a number of drivers who do NOT stop at red traffic lights (or stop signs, or anywhere else it is generally expected that one come to a complete stop, look both ways, and all that jazz).

Given my long-held belief that I’m an efficient and polite driver, you can imagine my dismay when I accidentally pulled out in front of someone this week. I was stopped at a stop sign, looked for cross traffic that didn’t have to stop, and, seeing no one, proceeded into the intersection.

Never saw the guy … until he blared his horn at me for about 10 seconds.

Now, in my world of driver etiquette, the horn should be used as a warning, not as punishment or as an audible middle finger. This person was civil enough to slow down so he wouldn’t hit me, but he did want me to know he had to touch his brake because of my mistake.

I was embarrassed because I hadn’t seen him, but also incensed that he’d had the nerve to treat me that way when it was accidental on my part. It seemed that he was feeling superior because he was in the “right.” Then I realized, that person who is so self-righteous about the way other people behave – on the road, on the job, in my family – that person is usually me. I’m usually the one feeling indignant because I’ve been “wronged” in some way, no matter how miniscule.

So here’s my plan: I’ll try to keep some perspective in the future, especially because it’s quite possible that I’m making a snap judgment from not knowing all the information. Maybe the crabby waitress just had a fight with her fiancé, or maybe the brusque cashier has an unreasonable supervisor. I don’t know what’s happening in other people’s lives, so why not give them the benefit of the doubt? It doesn’t cost much – a little patience and pride, that’s all. I could do with a little less pride anyway.

So I tried to think about why that guy would treat me that way. He didn’t know I was generally a courteous driver, that I wasn’t trying to be a jerk, or that I certainly wouldn’t have pulled out into the intersection if I had seen him coming.

Oh, and the reason I didn’t see him? I looked his direction all right. But I hadn’t seen him because it was dark and rainy. And he didn’t have his headlights on.

It’s all about perspective.

In what areas of your life could you use some perspective and humility?

“Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.” –Dandamis